letters
to an unknown audience
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Five: I start to write/  /April 19, 2010

You've got all the notes there; you come in in the morning and you read through what you're going to try to write, and there's not that much to read. You're not worried about the other ninety-five percent, it's off in a folder somewhere. It's you and the keyboard. You get away from the mechanics through this mechanical means. The spontaneity comes in the writing, the phraseology, the telling of the story—after you've put all this stuff aside. You can read through those relevant notes in a relatively short period of time, and you know that's what you want to be covering. but then you spend the rest of your day hoping spontaneous things will occur.

It may sound like I've got some sort of formula by which I write. Hell, no! You're out there completely on your own—all you've got to do is write. OK, it's nine in the morning. All I've got to do is write. But I go hours before I'm able to write a word. I make tea. I mean, I used to make tea all day long. And exercise, I do that every other day. I sharpened pencils in the old days when pencils were sharpened. I just ran pencils down. Ten, eleven, twelve, one, two, three, four—this is every day. This is damn near every day. It's four-thirty and I'm beginning to panic. It's like a coiling spring. I'm really unhappy. I mean, you're going to lose the day if you keep this up long enough. Five: I start to write. Seven: I go home. That happens over and over and over again. So why don't I work at a bank and then come in at five and start writing? Because I need those seven hours of gonging around.

—John McPhee, interviewed in The Paris Review No. 192, Spring 2010.

This is exactly how I felt when I was writing my thesis—right down to the pencils, which I sharpened on a little two-bore fingertip model.

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