Two white boys are drinking outside a pub in the red-light district, making some japes. A wrinkled, middle-aged black woman with a small dog walks past and the two boys ask her about her dog. She explains; they talk in Dutch. And what is that orange football-shaped pillow you have? It's a radio, I understand she's saying. This button changes the channel; these make the volume go up and down. It's for her--what--nephew?

Later they talk to me: Willem and Russ. It's a nice camera, they say. Not digital? Very expensive isn't it? Not that expensive. The film is expensive. Me? I'm from Edinburgh. Bad winters? Yes. They're in from Haarlem for the evening. A twenty-minute trip. A nice treat for these outgoing, cheerful undergrads.

Shouted, from the end of an alley:
"Try the last one, transvestite on the left. (pause) I work here a long time. (pause) (fart) That's for God."

"Coffee or Tea" rendered in Dutch: "Koffie of thee."

In a sunny bar, midday. Two old ladies doing a crossword in Dutch, intently discussing the clues. Finally, they break out in laughter, sounds of relief. I and the bartender look at them; the oldest one says something in Dutch and waves her hand from her head, seeming to say: "It went right out of my head!"

Train station, an American Mom is reading.

KID: If I had all the time in the world, I could read the longest Harry Potter book in about ... ... 27 hours running.

(long pause)

MOM (unamused): Is that so?

Another time:

KID: How many cars are people allowed to have?

(long pause)

MOM: People can have as many cars as they want.

(long pause)

KID: But people are only allowed to have a limited number of pets. I wonder why that is. Why are people only allowed to have a limited number of pets?