It is about the hour of two o'clock in the a.m., and across the alley from here, there seems to be a woman in thrall to something along the lines of an intergalatic orgasmatron ray. Her ululations seem to have no upper limit; seven or eight apparently life-changing repetitions of this have left her undiminished, and if anything, more sensitive.
The timbre and dynamic range of the sound have convinced me that this is not a video or audio tape playing for anyone's solo or group amusement. A live, fleshy being is undergoing some bizarre treatment just yards away from where I sleep.
Indeed after fifteen or twenty minutes of these (the cries, the relieved breathing, the silence), I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't in fact some elaborate splinter-removal ceremony going on over there. If that's the case, it must be at the mercy of the biggest, sharpest rustiest tweezer on the block, and there are certainly three or four hundred very deeply nested splinters in this woman's foot, which are being nipped out in brutal rounds of a dozen or so, leaving deep scars.
The voice rises in a quick note of surprise, then gives a constipated sort of downward tremolo before warbling again at a higher pitch, possibly squeaking to a still higher pitch.
Ah, other neighbors are turning out their lights! I'm not the only one subject to this rude awakening! Ah, but they are no help, these neighbors. Thirteen repitions is still not the finale!
Whatever it is, folks, I will definitely not have what she's having.
UPDATE: Ah, at long last the procedure seems to have run its course. I'm dropping my call to the Humane Society; all is well here.
See, if only we'd stayed out later, then a) you'd have missed much of the ceremonial performance and b) there might have been additional endrunkening, thus assuring a sounder sleep. Next time.
Dept. of Improbable Stories. WOW.
Reminds me of a night I spent in a cheap motel in Seville once during a solo bike trip across Europe. Hot summer night with the windows open onto an open courtyard, I think everyone in the hotel shared the couple's celebration of life. This was pre-Viagra days so I think it was only three or four rounds but it was like hearing an orchestra in full tilt when they got underway.
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