letters
to an unknown audience
(a mechanical re-enactment from life).
4:00a, NARRATOR lies in bed in a hostel room in Prague, Czechia. S/he is turning the page of an Anne Carson poem. Enter BOTTOM and QUINCE.
BOTTOM: Can you believe it, man, they nicked our wallets!
QUINCE: I can't believe it, man. I can't believe they nicked our wallets.
BOTTOM: We didn't do nothin, and they nicked our wallets.
Enter SNUG.
SNUG: Hey, guys. I didn' know where you'd gone.
BOTTOM: They nicked our wallets!
SNUG: Wot's 'at?
BOTTOM: The feckin' cops came and nicked our wallets!
QUINCE: We weren't doin' nothin and they took our money!
BOTTOM: It's cuz we nicked their pillow cases.
QUINCE: All we did was take their pillow cases and they nicked our wallets.
SNUG: Guys. Guys, what's going on?
BOTTOM: We got picked up by the police.
QUINCE: We were at the club, right, and we tried to take their pillow cases, and the cops came.
BOTTOM: And they nicked our wallets! Had like ninety quid in there and they nicked it!
SNUG: Wait, guys, what happened?
QUINCE: They nicked our wallets!
SNUG: Who did?
QUINCE: The police!
SNUG: Why'd they do that?
BOTTOM: I don't know; we just tried to take their pillowcases.
SNUG: They nicked your wallets. Really?
QUINCE: Then they found out we were 17 and they let us go, right? Cuz we weren't s'posed to be there.
BOTTOM: But they wanted our wallets, and they took out the money and gave it back to us. Had like ninety quid.
SNUG: What?
Enter FLUTE. NARRATOR puts his book away and turns off the light.
FLUTE: Hey, guys! Guess what?
BOTTOM, QUINCE, SNUG: They nicked our wallets!
FLUTE: What?
BOTTOM: Had like ninety quid in there!
FLUTE: No, guys, listen, who's got a phone? I got this girl's number. Beautiful Thai girl. Quick, give me your phone, I got to put it in.
QUINCE: What? Whose number did you get?
FLUTE: I met this beautiful Thai girl, and her friend. I got to enter it in before I lose it. We're gonna meet up with her tomorrow.
BOTTOM: Can you believe they nicked our wallets?
SNUG: Why did they nick your wallets?
FLUTE: Guys, what's up?
BOTTOM and QUINCE: They nicked our wallets!
FLUTE: No, guys, what's up?
QUINCE: Took like ninety quid.
BOTTOM: Then they let us go.
FLUTE: Who took your wallets?
BOTTOM: The police.
FLUTE: She's beautiful. We've got to call her tomorrow.
BOTTOM: And they took the money that was in there.
FLUTE: What? Who took it?
BOTTOM, QUINCE, and SNUG: The police!
BOTTOM: We were just trying to take their pillowcases, and they took my money!
FLUTE: What? Wait, a minute, guys, you got picked up by the police? Re-spect. Re-spect!
QUINCE: Yeah, they took our wallets!
NARRATOR: Hey, do you guys think you could keep it down a bit?
BOTTOM: Oh, sorry. (whispers) I can't believe they nicked our wallets!
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