Dear Committee,

I have no concrete experiences which elucidate my passion for computer science. My lifelong disdain for academic orotundity and scientific periphrasis, combined with intellectual arrogance, has led to a college transcript that can praisingly be called mediocre. Despite a long-standing desire to spend the rest of my life doing research, I happily selected an undergraduate research project which involved little or no scholarly activity, but required the digestion of difficult research papers; the thesis committee assigned to my wretched case cruelly praised my project by awarding it High Honors, leading to the impression that I had accomplished something. Coincidentally, my deep-seated hatred of the corporate lifestyle and the fallacious American Dream led me to walk away from the one good job I had, a job which offered real technical challenges and respectful peers. The downtime after employment was filled primarily with faddy, unprofitable e-commerce projects and dillettante artistic ventures. In response to your question, "What makes you a good candidate for the PhD program in formal methods?" I can only deal in generalities and unwittingly demonstrate my ignorance.

Nonetheless, I swing from Don Knuth's jock, and want nothing more from my life than to write papers in TeX. Please admit me.

Yours,
Ezra